As entrepreneurs we all have to learn how to survive a setback.  

It’s hard to be thrown off course, especially when you feel like you’re finally making some serious headway in your business.  

Obstacles happen all the time, it’s to be expected.  

But sometimes there are obstacles of such epic proportions that you literally feel like you’ve been knocked down and you simply don’t have the strength to get back up.  

Those are the kind that I’m talking about today.  

I’m recovering from one of those setbacks.  

I started the year off so strong.  I was getting it all figured out and I felt so good about how I set myself up to have an incredibly successful year in business.

Then one day, in the blink of an eye, my world spun off its axis.  

Two months ago I found out that I was about 7 weeks pregnant.  The story doesn’t end well for my little peanut.

At 10 weeks I miscarried and lost the baby.

The Shock.

When I first found out I was pregnant I was scared.  My husband, Chad and I weren’t trying to conceive. Our son, Niko, just turned four and we were finally starting to feel normal again.

The idea of starting all over terrified me.  I didn’t want to do it.

I went into shock.  Every possible scenario entered my mind –

Caring for an infant.  Sleepless nights. Pregnancy discomfort.  Fatigue. Birthing. Postpartum hormones. Breast feeding.  Daycare. College. A bigger car.

Then there is my business.  What about my business??

Oh.  My. God.

The Shift.

It was about 2 days before I adjusted to the idea of having another baby.  And then, as I felt I had no other option, I made peace with it and got excited.  

I was excited that Niko was going to have a sibling.  I was excited that I was going to get to experience those precious baby moments again – the sweet baby smells and sounds that are so fleeting, but so pure.  

All of a sudden my world revolved around the baby that I could already feel growing inside of me.  And like I knew would happen, that baby became my number one priority.

The plans were being made.  I was making doctors appointments, deciding on what I needed to buy again, and starting to choose names.  

I felt strongly that I was carrying a girl.  My plan was to name her after my mom. Maizie Star (my mom’s name is Estrella – Star in Spanish).

But in the end, it wasn’t meant to be.

At 10 weeks all the tell tale signs of a miscarriage began.  I knew what was happening and with all my might I tried to will it away.

I begged and pleaded with her not to leave us.  She was already part of our family and I had big plans for us.  

Just as quickly as she came into my body, she left me.

It was painful.  I was scared, sad and confused.

What I’m left with is a hollow feeling, an emptiness that I’m currently trying to deal with.  

This kind of loss is very normal, but not often spoken about.  It’s an uncomfortable conversation to have and a lot of women go through their struggles in silence.

I’m not going to lie, opening up about my personal story makes me feel unbelievably vulnerable.  

But I think it’s important to have these meaningful conversations as we all work to get to the otherside of adversity.  

Entrepreneurship is not an easy journey.  

We are constantly faced with a roller coaster ride of emotions, high highs and low lows.  

We share so many beautiful things, pretty things, but sometimes life throws in a sucker punch that can literally knock the wind out of you.  

But to be successful entrepreneurs we have to learn how to survive a setback.

When we enter into a storm it’s easy to feel like you’re never going to survive the darkness.  Storms feel scary, hard, impossible.

But maybe the storm is actually a gift.  

Maybe it’s not as scary as it feels.  Maybe the broken parts are actually just a different way for the Universe to let your light shine through.

Today I’m grieving, but I also know that speaking my truth and helping to inspire others through their own struggles is my way of healing.   

I hope that no matter what you may be going through, however hard it may seem, I can help you see that beyond the darkness you still have a beautiful light shining through the shattered pieces that have been opened for you.

“The wound is the place the light enters you” – Rumi

We are all in this together.  

Thank you for holding space for me.  

xo